Becoming a Minimal Mom

The Pressure to Buy It All

As a first time mom (even as a declutter coach and minimalist), I am really feeling the pressure to put a million things on my baby registry. Ads, baby shopping lists, and mommy influencers are all telling me different baby items are the "essentials". And there is a general sense that any "essential" I don't have purchased, unwrapped, and perfectly organized before my water breaks is going to be a massive hassle to get after I have a newborn and sleep depravation (even though Walmart is just down the road and Amazon has 2 day shipping...).

On top of all that, as an aesthetically and sustainably inclined woman, I have the added pressure of trying to get most items I buy to be beautiful, ethically made, sustainably sourced, and the best option for my baby's health and development. And even though I plan to buy as little as I can new, the pressure to find all the best items on Facebook Marketplace or at the thrift store is still there.

However, because I am a declutter coach and live in a small apartment, there is also a strong voice in my head telling me to not ask for or buy too much... because where the heck am I going to store it all! More stuff doesn’t equal more convenient. The opposite is actually true. The less I own, the simpler and easier my life is. That was true before, and it will continue to be true with a newborn. Plus, more stuff does not equal more love or better parenting. Being more loving makes me more loving. And being more present will make me a better parent. Less stuff to trip over will help me do that.

What “Minimal Mom” Means to Me

What being minimal parents looks like can vary greatly. It can look like buying high end baby gear and toys made of natural materials that fit nicely into your large suburban home to spending less than $400 on all your baby gear and fitting it into your travel van. For me, being a minimal mom means owning as little as possible for your child and only keeping what you use and love and that everything fits well in your space. So depending on the size of your home and your family, how many items you have for your child can vary greatly. The important thing is that what you have is being used, loved, and is not so much that you are tripping over it or digging through 6 bins just to find the diaper cream.

For me, being a minimal mom means owning as little as possible for your child and only keeping what you use and love and that everything fits well in your space.

Signs You’re a Minimal Parent:

This is not a to do list, but rather things to lean into when possible.

• Not buying everything ads and influencers say a baby needs

• Having just enough to living comfortably in your space with your family

• Not having a storage unit. - If you're wealthy or traveling and it is convenient for you, then great. Otherwise, keep only what fits comfortably in your house/on your land.

• Sticking to buying what you can afford without going into long term debt

• Choosing high quality, natural materials over cheap items that wear out quickly

• Shopping intentionally instead of panic or impulse buying (aka use a wish list and don't buy things right when you first see or think of them)

• Rotating toys instead of constantly adding new ones

• Having just 1-4 toy baskets or shelves that are easy to pick up (especially for children under 5)

• You know the difference between true baby essentials and convenience and comfort items

• Limiting duplicates (one diaper bag, one stroller, one high chair)

• Repairing or repurposing items before replacing them

• Keeping sentimental items in one contained memory box or on display

• Choosing time together over new stuff

  
  

Why I’m Choosing This Path

We live in a very small apartment. I have no dining room, no nursery, no garage, no bath tub, and a very small living room. My kitchen cupboards are full and my outdoor storage shed is full. Therefore I can't get too many small items for baby or any large furniture or baby holders. I plan to opt of a crib entirely and have a floor bed. I plan on getting the smallest high chair possible to squeeze it into my tiny kitchen (or maybe I just won't get one). I plan to get a small baby sink bath rather than a big baby bath that would be harder to store (or maybe I'll just opt out entirely and lay a towel in the sink). Due to my space, I am choosing to be minimal so that everything will fit comfortably.

Also because of my small space, not only do I need to limit what I bring into my home for my baby, I also need to do some decluttering. I need to make some more room in the shed for items my child is not quite ready for (size 6 months clothing and bigger, kids books that aren't for baby, extra toys, baby gear for when they start crawling and walking, etc.). I need to clear a cupboard or shelf in my kitchen for pumping gear, bottles, and baby food items. I need to declutter and reorganize my bedroom closet to make space for baby supplies. I can't fit much for baby, so I need to reduce in order to keep my home functioning in this new season.

Everything in my home must have a home. As a declutter coach and professional organizer, I also understand the importance of everything in it's place. So in one regard, I actually am getting a few new large items... storage. I just bought a new dresser for baby clothes to put next to my dresser and I have three Ikea drawer organizers on my baby registry that I plan to put in the bottom of my closet for baby supplies. I also hung a back-of-the-door organizer I had planned to give away on my bedroom door for diapers etc. If you are going to invest in something before baby arrives, choose function over cuteness. Maybe skip that adorable baby gym (a blanket on the floor will do) and get yourself a bigger book shelf instead so you can store baby books and toys off the floor.

Babies can be expensive. As I am planning on taking a long maternity leave (no in-person clients June through August or September of this year), I need to put my finances at the top of my priority list. Reducing the number of baby items I buy will help me stick to my goals and not go into debt. I also plan on getting as much as I can from friends and family (hand me downs, baby shower, and baby registry), Facebook no buy and mom groups, Facebook Marketplace (already got my dream bassinet for 86% off original price!), local mom non-profits (check out Birth Right Walla Walla if you are local), and second hand. Minimalism is helping me stick to my goals and put long-term financial peace over short-term convenience.

Lastly, I personally am choosing to be as minimal as possible as a parent because I find minimalism so much more peaceful. Having what feels like a million toys all over the living room and bedroom floors is an issue many of my clients have and they pay me to help reduce that problem. I hope to avoid it for the most part by not buying my kids lots of toys and donating toys they have grown out of, broken, or that don't fit our space as soon as possible. Same rules apply to everything else from bouncers to baby clothes. The less I have, the more peace I know I will feel. And I desperately want to be a peaceful mama. THAT is what my kids need, not another stuffed animal.

10 Tips for Being a Minimal Mama:

1. Consume "What Not to Buy" Content

   For every baby essentials list and baby haul video you consume (inevitably adding yet another item to your baby registry), watch or read a list of things you DON'T need. This is something I have been doing naturally as a declutter coach mom and it is so helpful! There are lots of experienced minimalist moms out there that know what you don't need. LISTEN TO THEM! (P.S. they pretty much all agree you don't need a baby wipe warmer, so just skip that one).

2. Challenge Your Own "Essentials" List

   Go through your baby registry before you send it out to friends and family and ask yourself, "Do I have anything I already own that would work for this?" You'd be surprised how many "baby essentials" are really just human essentials you already own. Towels, wash cloths, laundry soap, cups, and food storage containers are things you already own that you can use for yourself and baby. If you don't have enough, maybe invest in a few new good quality ones that will not only help you through the baby stage, but through the rest of your parenting years to come. Or if you want a baby specific version that is smaller or a different material, consider getting it in a toddler size or gender neutral color so you can use it longer and for multiple kids.

3. Borrow Before Buying.

   Especially for large, short-term baby gear (like bassinets and baby swings), do your best to borrow items rather than buying them. They tend to be expensive and hard to store. Or alternatively, buy them used and then resell them once you are done with them.

4. Accept Hand-Me-Downs and Then Pass Them On

   If you have a friend with a baby girl a little older than your little girl, that makes for a happy situation! Accept her hand-me-downs gratefully and then pass them on to someone else you know with a baby girl later or donate them to a local thrift store or baby non-profit.

5. Say No to “Just In Case” Purchases

   When an urgent need arises, send dad, a friend, or your mom to the store or order it online with 2 day shipping. Nothing urgent is hard to get your hands on these days. If you don't have a lot of support, join your local Facebook no buy group or mom group and ask if someone could sell, give, or loan you one and if they could drop it off on your porch (especially if you are fresh postpartum). You'd be surprised how many people are willing to help a new mom.

6. Prioritizing Multi-Use Items

   Many items are marketed as essential and we fall to the marketing because we do actually need something that does that purpose. However there are some items that can meet multiple needs rather than buying a specific product for each. For example, muslin blankets can be used as swaddles, nursing covers, car seat and stroller shade, grocery cart cover, burp cloths, bibs, diaper changing mats, tummy time pad, sensory play item, teether, bottle drying cloth, hand towel, tissue, emergency wipe or paper towel if there is none within reach, and as a regular thin blanket.

7. Let Your Baby Play with Everyday Objects

   You don't have to buy a toy to own one. Here are a few household objects you can offer to your baby or child to play with that you probably already own: Spoons, spatulas, measuring cups, baskets, scarves, pillows, bottles, mixing bowls, cardboard boxes, paper towel tubes, and empty oatmeal containers. You can pretty much give your kid anything as long as you supervise and it is not sharp, breakable, toxic, or small enough to choke on.

8. Resell and Donate

   Resell or donate an item quickly when it doesn’t work for your family or child. Don't store or hold onto things for your next kid if you didn't really like or need it for this one. And if you are in a very small space or aren't planning on having more kids, resell and donate everything as soon as your kid outgrows it.

9. Do Not Overbuy Small Size Diapers or Baby Clothes

   Baby's grow fast. Sizes preemie to size 1 (or 0-3 months) tend to be used for a few weeks or a month and then onto the next size. Skip preemie size items entirely if you can and limit your newborn and size 1 (or 0-3 month) clothes and diapers to the bare minimum as they will be onto size 2 (or 3-6 months) in no time.

10. Learn the Difference Between True Baby Essentials & Convenience / Comfort Items

    Newborns don’t need most of what marketing tells you they do. They really just need a safe place to sleep, food, warm clothes, diapers and wipes, a towel and soap, a car seat, and you. Everything else is optional. Read my baby essentials list and learn the optional baby items categories so you can choose the convenience and comfort items that will best support your family without going overboard.

You Got This Mama

To sum up, you don’t have to do it all or buy it all to be a good mother. It’s okay to begin with less and add what you truly need as you go, learning your baby and your rhythms one day at a time. Your baby needs your presence, your warmth, and your love far more than any "must-have" baby item. I’m choosing to begin motherhood slowly, intentionally, and with less — trusting that simplicity will leave more room for connection, rest, and the kind of moments that matter most. And I hope the same for you, even if your version of minimalism has a lot more or less stuff than my version.

Wishing you all the peace in whatever season of parenthood you find yourself in.

Comment below what minimalist motherhood means to you and one thing you plan on not buying for your child.